I
have been given the privilege to speak on behalf of my Dad and sisters – a privilege
I take very seriously. For each of us was shaped in many ways by the unconditional
and unwavering love of Margie Pruett.
There
is a book in both our mother’s
library -- and mine -- entitled Kneeling
in Jerusalem,
in
which the writer Ann Weems ends the section called Holy Week with this short poem:
As
we approached Jerusalem
the crowd stood at the gate
and cried in tear-choked voice:
“We
are lost in his death.”
Upon the hill the angels
sang:
“We
are found in his rising.”
Since
the death of our mother last Saturday, I think it is safe to say that each of
us has – in our own way – been lost in her death. How could it be
otherwise?
No
longer do we have the opportunity to share that thought or idea that pops into
our heads…or to phone her each day…or to seek her advice or understanding or to
receive the unconditional love and support she showered upon us…No longer can
she model for us her absolute determination to be a vessel of change wherever it was needed – in our family,
the church, or in the community.
As
you might imagine, our hearts are broken. And yet, if I were to leave us with tear-choked
voices -- lost in her death -- it
is clear that we would be missing out on the best part
of
our mother’s remarkable life and great faithfulness!
Our
mother was, by definition, one of the Easter
people – for she believed she had been found and made anew by Jesus’ rising
from the dead!” She was so confident in this that from January 10th
– the day the words stage four cancer were
spoken, changing our family forever – to last Saturday morning, she spoke of
being at peace with whatever happened
and would not put up with any doom
and gloom from those she loved because – to quote one
of the Lenten devotionals she wrote -- “No matter our situation, we
can depend on God’s grace to pull us through to the other side.”
What you may or may not know about our mother is that she was a woman of great hope – of happy endings! When she watched television shows or movies or read a book,
What you may or may not know about our mother is that she was a woman of great hope – of happy endings! When she watched television shows or movies or read a book,
she
wanted these to have happy endings! She wasn’t a Pollyanna in the sense that
she thought everyone and everything was good. She simply held out
a vision of the future
in
which she expected happy endings, believing that God could bring about the
impossible!
She
didn’t just hold this vision. She
lived into it with great determination,
not because she was a do-gooder or a fixer but because she genuinely loved people; and constantly sought
to widen her circle in order to share with others the love that God had
showered upon her.
Her
determined spirit did not come from The
Little Engine that Could mindset that
said,
“I
think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” Rather it was grounded in a prayer
life that
was contagious, caught by many who knew her.
When
I was in my 20s, I participated in a young adult class which Mom taught on
prayer. It was a transformative moment in my life as I saw the power of praying in all things, for my mother
believed there was nothing too small
or too big for which to pray. To this day, I even pray for a parking space when
going to the beach or shopping or other crowded venues. While some would call
this a waste of God’s time, our mother would have said that prayer is – in part
– about our reliance on God for everything
in our lives. [And in case you’re wondering, I always have a happy ending to my
prayer for a parking space.]
In
her marriage to our father, she found someone who understood who she was, though according to Dad, not at first. He met Mom when she was in
Business College in
Bluefield, West VA, where she finished two years of school in 15 months because
according to our sister Sandi, “Mom didn’t drink…Mom didn’t smoke…Mom didn’t
have fun!” Mom was boarding with her best friend Evelyn’s family – who turned
out to be Dad’s relatives!
As
first impressions go, neither my Dad
or Mom was overly excited about the other. Our father thought her to be meek, mild, and easy going; but, frankly,
was not attracted to her –
nor
she to him. However, after going back home to Delaware, he thought more about
her and wrote her a letter, to which she responded. They began to write on a
regular basis because Mom didn’t have a telephone because there were no phone
lines in that area. Over time, their
attraction blossomed, both feeling
that their budding relationship was
God-given.
After
a whirlwind courtship, our father asked Papa, Mom’s father, for her hand. In her family journal, Mom writes that
her soon-to-be inlaws were not too
pleased that Dad was interested in a girl they didn’t know a thing about. In
fact, his Mom said that she didn’t know any Nunns – our mother’s maiden name –
but she did know some Nunleys and none of
them were any good!
On
December 28ths, 1951, our parents were married in the Methodist Parsonage
in
Bluefield, Virginia. As Mom writes, “Big weddings weren’t in [Dad’s] thinking
at
that time.” God had a great sense of humor to give him four daughters!
Our
father says that he went into marriage believing – and I quote – like many men
–
that
he could be the one who made the decisions, that he would teach his new wife
what
he knew. Well….that didn’t exactly
turn out the way he thought it would – but
somehow they found their way and were married for 64 years in December.
During
those years, our father says our mother turned out to be the most determined person he knew. From the
start of their marriage, when Dad was serving at Ft. Benning, Georgia, to the
birth of Janet, to his return to work at the Seaford DuPont plant, to my birth,
to his call into the ordained ministry, something for which my mother did not
sign up but eagerly embraced, to four years of college and three of seminary, to
the births of Sharon and Sandi, and all the
exciting adventures that followed with family and church family and extended
family, to loving sacrifices made on the behalf of all of us, our mother grew in wisdom and understanding and
determination.
Her
look was always outward to the next need that showed itself through
family, church family, extended family, work or the community. She loved her
family without condition and did everything in her power to give us happy
endings.
Mom
took care of her mother, even when it meant a daily trip after work from
Clayton to Milford. She modeled for us generous
hospitality as she hosted family gatherings
with
tons of food which, almost always, included
her homemade yeast rolls. Just
so you know, these rolls were so loved that there were times after our children were older that my
sisters, me, and our husbands would fight
with our children to get the first ones hot
out of the oven. Perhaps that was not
one of our shining moments!! But Mom’s rolls were the best ever!!
Our
mother modeled extravagant, thoughtful giving each Christmas. In our younger
days, no matter how exhausted she was, she and granny would make our Easter
outfits. And
every year at the beginning of school, Mom would see to it that we had quality
clothes, even when we didn’t have much money.
As
we grew into adulthood and chose our husbands, my mother drew them into the
family, showering them with the same
unwavering love that we received, hoping that they would love us as Daddy loved
her – wanting that happy ending for us!
Our
mother had an extremely high work ethic which is instilled in each of her
daughters and she encouraged us to do what we had the gifts and talents to do.
When
the grandchildren came along, she spent time with them, looked after them when
they were sick and we, their parents, needed to be at work, edited school
papers, took them to Sunday School and worship, baked cookies with them at
Christmas, and decorated eggs for the Easter egg hunts she would hold in their
yard – though she could never remember how many eggs had been hidden. (I’m
certain that Dad found some later with his lawn mower!) Along the way, they
were made privy to who she was and
her steadfast, determination that they know
they were her beloved grandchildren…
As
important as family was, she still had time for her church family, using her
gifts of prayer and teaching and counseling; beginning ministries that are
still in existence today. As she did, she touched lives and made many life-long
friends.
Perhaps
the most audacious vision given to her by God was the church start called -- of course – Hope. In this, as in every undertaking,
our father – and others – supported our mother in whatever ways they could, as
she sought to fulfill her vision of a happy
ending for all.
Our
father’s assessment of our mother is that she grew into a different – but much
better person – than the meek, mild, easy going person he thought he married who
would let him make the decisions. Quoting
the writer of Proverbs 31, he said that his wife was a woman who was “strong and respected and not afraid of the
future…”
As
her days were coming to an end, my mother sought to live them just as she had
lived her life – with hope for a
happy ending – believing the song of the angels that she had been found in
Christ’s rising to new life!
There’s
not a doubt in our family’s mind that the ending of my mother’s life is a happy
one because of the God she loved, the Christ she followed, and the memories of
us, of
each of you, which she takes with her into her eternal home.
As
I was leafing through the family journal which she had been working on for some
time, I came across a quote that she had saved from grandson Eric after the
death of her mother (Granny). Eric was about four at the time. He told Mom that
he had gone to the park the other day with his other Mom Mom (Voshell). Mom
asked, “What did you do?” Eric replied, “I swung and swung all the way up to
Heaven.” Mom asked, “What did you do then?” Eric said, “I saw Granny and she
was a superstar.”
If
we could swing all the way up to heaven
today, we would see Granny and Papa and Mom’s brothers and sister, Joe, Woody,
Minnie, and all family and friends
who have gone before her -- the superstars of our mother’s life! Today she
gains superstar status with God and enjoys the happiest ending ever – eternal
life!
For
this we say “Thanks be to God!”
